Have you ever looked back on your life as if you were watching a movie? I thought something like this could only happen in a novel. But this happened to me too. Last week, one of my friends asked me if I could help her with her work over the weekend. I said I would do it right away because she suggested me an hourly wage based on the weekend. It wasn’t very difficult. It was sorting documents in the university lab where my friend worked and organizing research expense receipts into Excel files. I worked from 11 am to 8 pm on Saturday, and the next day I went to the office and was concentrating on my work. But my friend tried to convince me by saying quickly that she didn’t like the pace of what I was doing. My heart was broken for a moment, and I calmly told her not to ask me for help with this kind of thing again.
The atmosphere in the office suddenly turned cold. When I got home from work, I was resentful and angry at the thought that my friend had ruined my precious weekend for minimum wage. The moment I sat in the corner of my bed being angry, lots of thought kept coming and going, and to my surprise, my life unfolded like a movie. I looked objectively as if I was the main character in the film. In that movie, I was wandering my whole life in other to gain fame and money. The jobs I had, a video producer, a camera journalist, actor management, and a mother of two. In these jobs, I wanted to make money, I hoped to be honorable, but I found that I hadn’t even one percent willing to sacrifice my spare time and freedom.
While everyone in the world realized that the money and fame I loved so much didn’t just happen, I was trapped in my thoughts and greedy not to give up anything. No matter how much I change jobs or move to other companies, my mind is so selfish that I go through the same ups and downs every time, and I come to realize that I have no choice but to fail without progress. Most of all, I was pathetic because I wanted to make a lot of money without trying.
The next day I called my friend. I apologized. I said that I would help her do hard work every day, but I was so ashamed of myself that I get annoyed even when it is even a little difficult. She said it was okay and thanked me for helping her get the job done. After I sincerely apologized to my friend, I felt much lighter. The next day, she sent the money for my work over the weekend into my bank account.
I appreciated it, and the money was precious. Also, I appreciated for being able to look back on me through this event. All of this was possible because I was able to reflect on myself. I hope you all take a look at yourself too. I know most people reading this article are far better people than me. But what I’ve realized in my life is that to look back at oneself is to look back on one’s life. My life is my mind, after all. I recommend that you meditate with exact methods.
